Philosophy on Perceptions, Death, and Life

I think philosophers are born in death. It seems death brings out the mental backbending and contortionism that evolves into efforts to describe abstract sensations with concrete linguistical terms, only to frustrate and confuse anyone who really makes a leap at understanding what is expressed (or not) - including the author of such attempts. It also leads to run-on sentences. :)

I do not by any means claim to be a philosopher in any sense beyond that of just existing as a thoughtful being among other thoughtful beings (i.e. humans), but I definitely am getting better at confusing myself with ethereal, abstract ramblings which come out sounding at once lofty but also ambiguous and useless. In that spirit, here is a sampling of some of my stream of consciousness pontifications. I used voice-to-text while driving the other day to record this:

My husband is dead. I talk about so many normal everyday things but then I remember that my husband is dead. And it seems both huge and insignificant. Insignificant because eternity is eternity. And thus this life is less than the blink of an eye. But in my perception his death is the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of the world. But in the history of the world, what is one death? Insignificant. But the perception of one person is history. Or at best, the perceptions of some group of people. And whether it's one person or many, every death is significant in some history or other. Quantities versus qualities. I have to believe that perception is part of reality. How much of what I perceive is false anyway? So to say that perception is purely subjective and subjective is purely fictional is to totally misinterpret the meaning of existence. I exist because I perceive, not because I am perceived. I can't see who perceives me. Does he exist? Of course he exists! Not because I perceive him, but because he perceives me. There is nothing false about perception, because perception is emotion. Perception is interpretations, and these interpretations truly affect my heart and my soul. So they affect me. So they are real and true. I know perceptions could be changed. But I don't think that makes them less real. I think it just makes reality more fluid. You know it's kind of empowering to know that you can change reality. I can't change that my husband's dead, as much as I want to. But that is a fact. I can't change the fact, but I can change the reality. I can change the way I interpret or perceive that fact. And I could make myself feel differently. My husband is dead. Fact. Perception. Reality. My interpretation? Like the others, it changes every single day.

Cheshire Cat got nothing on me...

(Photo cred to this person.)